How God amazes me....with poop

Nothing can describe how incredible you feel having a child.  Everyone kept telling me that but I didn't know what they meant.  How could I?  In fact, the thought of a baby scared me endlessly.  I have no younger siblings, my younger cousins lived far away growing up and none of my close friends have children for me to ever have experienced anything with a baby.  So, when Jonas arrived, I was scared to say the least.  I spent the first week and a half with 'baby blues' wondering if I was hurting him, doing the wrong things, meeting his needs, etc, etc.  I tried to nurse - failed miserably.  I pumped - hated it (but still continue it).  I generally felt completely lost.  Until today. 

This morning I woke up feeling good - 'baby blues' were subsiding and my mother in law was treating me to a massage (she had offered me a prenatal one my entire pregnancy but, I never felt comfortable going in for one).  The massage was great.  I drove home feeling so comfy and relaxed.  However, when I got home, my mother in law told me that Jonas was being overly fussy (odd because he has so far been a very calm baby...sleeping well at night and having defined awake periods during the day).  The fussiness got worse.  He refused to be put down and would cry whenever his pacifier was out of his mouth.  He wouldn't fall asleep no matter what we did.  Scared, I called the doctor and suggested I bring him in tomorrow, fearing colic. 

Now I am no baby-expert but, I am well aware that colic is not good.  I have met people who have had colicky babies and it always seems like hell.  I immediately googled colic looking for some sign that if it were the case, something could be done.  One suggestion was to do the 5 S's which I had learned about in birth class.  We tried, it didn't work but, we didn't have a swing.  I rushed quickly out the door to Babies R Us to buy one.  I never understood how my parents and my husbands parents would be willing to drop any amount of money on something to help us until my defining moment in the swing aisle at Babies R Us.  I didn't care how much it was, I wanted the best plug-in swing with vibration, music and white noise with a 6 speed setting.  As long as it made my little dude happy, it could have been $500 and I would have gotten it (luckily, and to the relief of my husband, it was only $105 with my coupon).

However, some time during my insane whirlwind trip to Babies R Us, my little guy did something amazing.  He farted twice and pooped.  I know this sounds really dumb but, I have never been so relieved to hear that farting and pooping allowed him to smile, take his 5pm bottle and fall fast asleep, no pacifier needed.  I got home and broke down and realized in that moment how much I really, truly love my son.  I didn't care what i had to do as long as he was OK.  I know to many-a moms out there, this seems like common sense and and over reaction to probably a mild case of constipation and gas but, I don't care because I have never been so scared in my life. 

For some reason, he is mesmerized by the black and white ring.

Prada Prada Prada

Due to late night pumping sessions, I have been spending a lot of time on the Style.com ap from my iPhone and yesterday, I fell in love with the Prada Spring 2012 show....the dresses are just AMAZING.  If only I could afford something so chic!  Now I am on the look out for similar fabrics and colors in the stores (which of course right now, most of my shopping will be done online).

Welcome Little Owl

This is my son.  Jonas Christopher.  Born at 7:13pm on September 15th.  8lbs 3oz and 21.5 inches long.

So now you know where I have been!

Why I cook from scratch

 

I was cooking dinner yesterday which included the above (heirloom potatoes, a purple onion I got from the farmers market, zucchini in garlic olive oil and tarragon) and I realized that people often ask me why I cook with fresh veggies and meat.  To be honest, I really don't know how to cook anything else. I own a crockpot but, I have no idea how to use it.  I am lost in the frozen food aisle at the grocery store and really, to me it is easier to cook from scratch.  This is especially true with a crockpot.  Ok, so it is ready when you get home from work but, you still have to prepare the ingredients, right?  And something about a machine that slowly cooks raw stuff over the span of like 9 hours frankly scares me.  (Maybe it was all those classes I took to get my sanitation certification).

I think I also have to blame my upbringing.  I don't really remember any of the women in my family ever cooking any other way.  Definitely not my French grandmother and maybe my mom only on special occasions (we would ask for chicken nuggets or something for our birthdays).  But mostly I grew up eating meals made from fresh ingredients.  So, I guess I can't see it any other way.  I know people think this will change when Baby Owl is born but, I don't see how.  I just think it is easier to cook that way that I do!

Reuniting

Last night was my 10 year high school reunion.  Wow.  10 years!  I feel bad because I didn't take a single picture nor was I in any pictures with anyone there but, I had a great time.  The great thing about it is was that it was my husband's reunion too.  We actually graduated together in the same year but, because our class was so large, we didn't know each other.  Yes, I knew of him but, we weren't friends or anything.  It was nice to go and see people we both knew in a time in our lives that was so distinctly different (he was in hockey and tech prep, I was in choir and honors....way different sides of world at our school).

So, I thought it would be sort of cool to share this dorky little questionnaire I found on a website about how you change (or not change) in 10 years!

Residence: HS? In Franfkort with parents.  Now? In Frankfort with husband (in my defense, we lived in Chicago for 4.5 years!)
Job: HS? Assistant Mgr at Marcus Theaters.  Now? Ecomm Marketing Associate
Pets: HS? Parents cat, Willlow.  Now? Our cat, Madeline
Love: HS? Boyfriend.  Now? Husband
Music Selection: HS? Ska, Punk and Rock.  Now? Anything by Rap but mostly Indie.
Activities: HS? Choir.  Now? Yoga and working out.
Biggest Fear: HS? Failing at becoming a doctor.  Now? Currently, birthing Baby Owl!
Biggest Accomplishment: HS? Being the Wench in Madrigals.  Now? Having a successful life and career.

Oh, and just to add on one little note....Yes, I wore heels to my reunion and they were these fabulous Calvin Klein numbers!

Latest Obsession

Because I can actually partake in fall fashion (I had to essentially ignore spring and summer), I have been extra excited about buying clothing.  Though most of my clothing comes from thrift stores and resale shops, I do buy some things new.  Especially when I feel that they are unique.

On my facebook, I follow Wanelo which likes to post pretty things to my wall everyday.  Normally, I try my best to ignore all the unique products that pop up but, this time, I just couldn't.  I just HAD to purchase a pair of tattoo socks from Post on Etsy.  I personally bought the first ones but, they are all so beautiful, I may have to go back and get some more!

9 Months

I can not believe that I am posting about being 36 weeks pregnant already.  It seems like this pregnancy has just flown by in retrospect.  I only have 4 weeks until my due date and I feel 50% completely prepared and 50% completely unprepared.  I have never really been good with the unknown so I think that is where the unpreparedness feelings come from.  This last month has been so hectic with the fire, attempting to train backups for my job at work and the reality of it all; having a baby, a son, someone who depends completely on me and my husband to raise him.  I know in the back of my mind I'll be a good mother but, I can't help feeling panicked about some things.  I suppose all moms go through that. 

The most exciting thing aside from knowing Little Owl will be here is the realization that I will be able to fit into normal, non-maternity clothing soon!  I am so obsessed with reading about the Fall's fashion because I had to essentially ignore Spring and Summer.